I consider myself as an exception among females - I want to have sex three times a day. But hey, don't get excited, usually I HAVE SEX only once a day. Sometimes the desires and the reality do not meet at all, for example, when I'm really turned on and it seems that I'm going to explode without sex, I suddenly remember that I must get up tomorrow at five o'clock and now it is already one o'clock. No sex, then...
But, to the point - I don't think that males are the only ones with huge sexual needs, as we all, again are individuals! However, it can be generally so that females seem to be statistically less "in need". Still, I think it is more a problem of society, education, childhood etc. than a physical difference. If one sees sex as an obligation - well, it is more than evident that they're not willing to have it all the time and all over the house. The problems in the bedroom can also reflect the whole relationship, therefore you should discuss them through right away together.
***
SOME TIPS
- If you're the person in your relationship who wants to have more sex, you should tell this to your partner.
- If the needs are simply too different between you two, you should consider whether your relationship will really work in a long run. Sexual needs are as vital for human beings as oxygen or sleep.
-Don't feel ashamed if you're sexually extremely active - at least in Finland it is a rare gift and should be thus carefully protected.
- Once a day is better than once a week. SERIOUSLY.
torstai 13. toukokuuta 2010
The Myth#2: A stressing period affects your sex life negatively
I think every person is an individual and thus unique. Also the combination two unique individuals form can play key role in how the sex life is affected for example by stress or depression.
To me stress or depression has not caused any lack in sexual needs - on the contrary, these periods often axcelerate my desires. I think sex often functions as an escape for me together with Guy, because, as I love sex above almost anything else, I like to have those "little secret trips outside the stressing reality" even more! After a stressing day Guy and I may even spend three hours in bed...And it works quite well, actually...
However, stress sometimes DOES affect the quality of sex. If I have really urgent thinks pressing my mind, I tend to have problems to get wet, even though I do feel mentally excited. Guy, on the other hand, ofen feels too tired to have penetration when he's stressed. Then we just finger or lick each other (HEY: I don't consider oral sex or fingering as a bad sex - but I can tell when he's too tired, and it totally holds me and my desires back). And still we have to have our little trip together to fight reality.
***
SOME TIPS
- If you feel stressed, do not view sex as a "must", but as an escape. Relax and get lost from the stess.
- If you have problems with physical arousal, let you partner help you get started. If it doesn't help you, then I advise you to try again next time - it can add to your stress load if you feel that you're forced to get wet/hard.
- If your partner is stressed, do not hold back! Maybe your love even needs "a little trip", who knows... ;)
- Never forget that you have a right to fulfill your sexual needs together with your love, and vice versa. Making compromises on both sides can be vital when dealing with a long period of depression.
To me stress or depression has not caused any lack in sexual needs - on the contrary, these periods often axcelerate my desires. I think sex often functions as an escape for me together with Guy, because, as I love sex above almost anything else, I like to have those "little secret trips outside the stressing reality" even more! After a stressing day Guy and I may even spend three hours in bed...And it works quite well, actually...
However, stress sometimes DOES affect the quality of sex. If I have really urgent thinks pressing my mind, I tend to have problems to get wet, even though I do feel mentally excited. Guy, on the other hand, ofen feels too tired to have penetration when he's stressed. Then we just finger or lick each other (HEY: I don't consider oral sex or fingering as a bad sex - but I can tell when he's too tired, and it totally holds me and my desires back). And still we have to have our little trip together to fight reality.
***
SOME TIPS
- If you feel stressed, do not view sex as a "must", but as an escape. Relax and get lost from the stess.
- If you have problems with physical arousal, let you partner help you get started. If it doesn't help you, then I advise you to try again next time - it can add to your stress load if you feel that you're forced to get wet/hard.
- If your partner is stressed, do not hold back! Maybe your love even needs "a little trip", who knows... ;)
- Never forget that you have a right to fulfill your sexual needs together with your love, and vice versa. Making compromises on both sides can be vital when dealing with a long period of depression.
keskiviikko 12. toukokuuta 2010
Review#1: White Sensations Set
(Oh - I forgot to tell you that I will post some reviews of sex toys and stuff also. So enjoy... ;)
WHITE SENSATIONS SET
From: Keltainen Ruusu
Price: 39.95€
Content (clockwise from the left lower corner)
A Vibrator
B Spiral vibrator sleeve
C Penis vibrator sleeve
D Sleeve with spikes
E Anal beads
F Vibra "bullet"
G Cock ring
H Duo balls
Each item is evaluated separately, in the end of the entry you can find the total score.
***
A
- quite noisy
- hard to use if your hands are wet
+ feels okay even without the sleeves on
+ easy to keep clean
+ diameter without a sleeve on is 2.5cm, so it goes well for beginner's anal play
>score: 3/5
B
- hard to put on beacause of the material
- hard to get off as well
- the material gets scratched easily
+ perfect for anal play
+ my partner also enjoyed this one!
>score 2/5
C
- boring
- a little bit too thick for me
- hard to get on
- hard to get off
- gets scratched easily
> score 0/5
D
- does not look sexy at all!
- does not reach till the end of the vibrator
- hard to get on
- hard to get off
- gets scratched easily
+ feels really good once you get it inside!
+ not too thick, just perfect (for me, at least)
+ complex
>score: 3/8
E
+ good material
+ my partner also liked this one
+ easy to get inside
+ perfect for beginners
+ feels good
- maybe extra lenght could produce even more pleasure
>score:5/6
F
- does not give great pleasure in vagina or anus
- the line in the middle of the bullet gets dirty, and is hard to keep clean
- noisy
- not so practical for clit either
>score 0/4
G
- hard to put on by partner (the material is streches!)
- does not give great pleasure
- the material scrathes easily
- looks like it's from the space!
+ keeps him hard (at least kept my partner)
>score: 1/5
H
- the line in the middle of both of the balls gets dirty and is hard to keep clean
- the string could be softer
+ light
+ feel comfortable
+ pleasurable
+ good for beginners
+ my partner also liked these ones
>score: 5/7
***
Overall score for the packet: 19/45 points, which means approximately 42% of the points.
Overall pros:
+ good for beginners
+ also males can enjoy these items
Overall cons:
- bad material
- sleeves were hard to get on the vibrator
- some items didn't convince with their quality or design
--> 2 stars
***
SOME TIPS
- Choose the packet together - thus you ensure that both of you will enjoy it.
- Choose a reliable shop with short time of delivery.
- Spend money - cheap packets can lack the quality.
- I wouldn't recommend sleeves - they are often hard to put on in the middle of excited intercourse. But you can save time if you put them on before you start playing.
- If you're a beginner, begin with the toys of modest size. For instance, anal play can be even painful if you start with big toys.
- Buy a decent-looking box of low heigth - you can put your toys there and slip it under the bed when you have visitors. I personally prefer a black box with a cover.
- Remember hygiene! Do not put the toys that have been in your/your partner's anus into vagina without first washing them carefully! Wash all the toys at least after you have used them - if you have time, do this even before.
- Throw away toys with many scratches - they lack hygiene.
- Do not use cock ring more than 20-30 minutes to avoid damages.
WHITE SENSATIONS SET
From: Keltainen Ruusu
Price: 39.95€
Content (clockwise from the left lower corner)
A Vibrator
B Spiral vibrator sleeve
C Penis vibrator sleeve
D Sleeve with spikes
E Anal beads
F Vibra "bullet"
G Cock ring
H Duo balls
Each item is evaluated separately, in the end of the entry you can find the total score.
***
A
- quite noisy
- hard to use if your hands are wet
+ feels okay even without the sleeves on
+ easy to keep clean
+ diameter without a sleeve on is 2.5cm, so it goes well for beginner's anal play
>score: 3/5
B
- hard to put on beacause of the material
- hard to get off as well
- the material gets scratched easily
+ perfect for anal play
+ my partner also enjoyed this one!
>score 2/5
C
- boring
- a little bit too thick for me
- hard to get on
- hard to get off
- gets scratched easily
> score 0/5
D
- does not look sexy at all!
- does not reach till the end of the vibrator
- hard to get on
- hard to get off
- gets scratched easily
+ feels really good once you get it inside!
+ not too thick, just perfect (for me, at least)
+ complex
>score: 3/8
E
+ good material
+ my partner also liked this one
+ easy to get inside
+ perfect for beginners
+ feels good
- maybe extra lenght could produce even more pleasure
>score:5/6
F
- does not give great pleasure in vagina or anus
- the line in the middle of the bullet gets dirty, and is hard to keep clean
- noisy
- not so practical for clit either
>score 0/4
G
- hard to put on by partner (the material is streches!)
- does not give great pleasure
- the material scrathes easily
- looks like it's from the space!
+ keeps him hard (at least kept my partner)
>score: 1/5
H
- the line in the middle of both of the balls gets dirty and is hard to keep clean
- the string could be softer
+ light
+ feel comfortable
+ pleasurable
+ good for beginners
+ my partner also liked these ones
>score: 5/7
***
Overall score for the packet: 19/45 points, which means approximately 42% of the points.
Overall pros:
+ good for beginners
+ also males can enjoy these items
Overall cons:
- bad material
- sleeves were hard to get on the vibrator
- some items didn't convince with their quality or design
--> 2 stars
***
SOME TIPS
- Choose the packet together - thus you ensure that both of you will enjoy it.
- Choose a reliable shop with short time of delivery.
- Spend money - cheap packets can lack the quality.
- I wouldn't recommend sleeves - they are often hard to put on in the middle of excited intercourse. But you can save time if you put them on before you start playing.
- If you're a beginner, begin with the toys of modest size. For instance, anal play can be even painful if you start with big toys.
- Buy a decent-looking box of low heigth - you can put your toys there and slip it under the bed when you have visitors. I personally prefer a black box with a cover.
- Remember hygiene! Do not put the toys that have been in your/your partner's anus into vagina without first washing them carefully! Wash all the toys at least after you have used them - if you have time, do this even before.
- Throw away toys with many scratches - they lack hygiene.
- Do not use cock ring more than 20-30 minutes to avoid damages.
The Myth #1: Porn is just for men.
I know so many females who agree that porn is just for men, and is somehow filthy, dirty and disgusting, and they think the idea of sharing a "porn night" with a boyfriend as an impossibility. I do not agree with this myth at all - of course the basic "hardcore girl/boy" porn does not turn me on at all, on the contrary, it bores me. However, I love to watch some lesbian clips or s/m films.
In addition, I think porn is a good way to make fantasies come true, at least into some extent. If you for example fancy about having a threesome, but feel reluctant to do it, I think it is better to just watch threesome films or clips.
Guy and I enjoy the same kind of porn. He also likes to watch lesbian clips, and likes the anal play as well as I.
In consequence, Guy and I decided to give it a try - we choose one lesbian film and started to caress each other in the middle of the clip. He got hard really fast, but I didn't wet at all - even though I felt excited and sexy, it wasn't somehow a natural situation. I was also worried that he wanted the girls in the clip, though I know he wanted me. This was quite weird, because usually I'm totally comfortable with myself and I'm really self-confident in bed.
So, it didn't work for us. At least it didn't work for me.
***
SOME TIPS
- If you fantasize about something that you feel reluctant to do in reality or it seems too risky, try out some porn. Explore different categories to find your own - funny, role play, hentai, gay, lesbian etc. If you get wet/hard by watching porn, it does not mean that you want it to happen in reality, so don't feel ashamed, just enjoy yourself.
- There exists some free websites, as http://redtube.com/, http://www.youporn.com/
- If you want to get off with your partner while watching porn, make sure that you both agree with the type of the film.
- View the content quickly before starting to play with each other - sometimes there can be a weird scene that you do not enjoy watching at all, and this can put an uncomfortable end to your exploration.
- Make sure you're won't be disturbed by uninvited visitors or phone calls during the session.
In addition, I think porn is a good way to make fantasies come true, at least into some extent. If you for example fancy about having a threesome, but feel reluctant to do it, I think it is better to just watch threesome films or clips.
Guy and I enjoy the same kind of porn. He also likes to watch lesbian clips, and likes the anal play as well as I.
In consequence, Guy and I decided to give it a try - we choose one lesbian film and started to caress each other in the middle of the clip. He got hard really fast, but I didn't wet at all - even though I felt excited and sexy, it wasn't somehow a natural situation. I was also worried that he wanted the girls in the clip, though I know he wanted me. This was quite weird, because usually I'm totally comfortable with myself and I'm really self-confident in bed.
So, it didn't work for us. At least it didn't work for me.
***
SOME TIPS
- If you fantasize about something that you feel reluctant to do in reality or it seems too risky, try out some porn. Explore different categories to find your own - funny, role play, hentai, gay, lesbian etc. If you get wet/hard by watching porn, it does not mean that you want it to happen in reality, so don't feel ashamed, just enjoy yourself.
- There exists some free websites, as http://redtube.com/, http://www.youporn.com/
- If you want to get off with your partner while watching porn, make sure that you both agree with the type of the film.
- View the content quickly before starting to play with each other - sometimes there can be a weird scene that you do not enjoy watching at all, and this can put an uncomfortable end to your exploration.
- Make sure you're won't be disturbed by uninvited visitors or phone calls during the session.
About the blog and becoming entries
I, Ella Kay, am the former blogger of the blog called "Ella DISCOVERED". I decided to quit that blog, as I created it to solve some inner controversies regarding my sexuality and identity - but those matters are extremely hard to discuss in written form, and I found it uncomfortable to share my past with strangers. Stupid, isn't it?
However, I'm back with a new blog, Coupling - Breaking the Myths, with some extreme changes.These changes include for exmaple choosing English instead of Finnish and includind pictures in the becoming entries. Furthermnore, I decided to alter the concept of my blog. I'm not going to discuss my sexuality or identity here, but I'll explore different myths regarding sex and relationship with the help of my dear partner Guy... ;)
And, warning! The myths are basicly general myths, nothing exceptional (at least at first), and may have been solved or discussed even before my exploration. So don't get angry and complain "It is stupid to investigate that myth as it isn't obviously true!". I won't have it.
As this blog deals with sex and stuff, I advice you to keep an humoristic and tolerant view, this is not dead serious guys! In addition, I don't guarantee that the material wouldn't upset you, because it might - so if you do not feel comfortable with some of the entries, link, pics etc, I'm not the person you should complain about it.
I also recommend that you are over eighteen to view this blog.
If you feel like asking something or giving some personal feedback, please contact me through email:
insect_princess[at]luukku[dot]com
However, I'm back with a new blog, Coupling - Breaking the Myths, with some extreme changes.These changes include for exmaple choosing English instead of Finnish and includind pictures in the becoming entries. Furthermnore, I decided to alter the concept of my blog. I'm not going to discuss my sexuality or identity here, but I'll explore different myths regarding sex and relationship with the help of my dear partner Guy... ;)
And, warning! The myths are basicly general myths, nothing exceptional (at least at first), and may have been solved or discussed even before my exploration. So don't get angry and complain "It is stupid to investigate that myth as it isn't obviously true!". I won't have it.
As this blog deals with sex and stuff, I advice you to keep an humoristic and tolerant view, this is not dead serious guys! In addition, I don't guarantee that the material wouldn't upset you, because it might - so if you do not feel comfortable with some of the entries, link, pics etc, I'm not the person you should complain about it.
I also recommend that you are over eighteen to view this blog.
If you feel like asking something or giving some personal feedback, please contact me through email:
insect_princess[at]luukku[dot]com
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