torstai 13. toukokuuta 2010

The Myth#2: A stressing period affects your sex life negatively

I think every person is an individual and thus unique. Also the combination two unique individuals form can play key role in how the sex life is affected for example by stress or depression.

To me stress or depression has not caused any lack in sexual needs - on the contrary, these periods often axcelerate my desires. I think sex often functions as an escape for me together with Guy, because, as I love sex above almost anything else, I like to have those "little secret trips outside the stressing reality" even more! After a stressing day Guy and I may even spend three hours in bed...And it works quite well, actually...

However, stress sometimes DOES affect the quality of sex. If I have really urgent thinks pressing my mind, I tend to have problems to get wet, even though I do feel mentally excited. Guy, on the other hand, ofen feels too tired to have penetration when he's stressed. Then we just finger or lick each other (HEY: I don't consider oral sex or fingering as a bad sex - but I can tell when he's too tired, and it totally holds me and my desires back). And still we have to have our little trip together to fight reality.

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SOME TIPS

- If you feel stressed, do not view sex as a "must", but as an escape. Relax and get lost from the stess.

- If you have problems with physical arousal, let you partner help you get started. If it doesn't help you, then I advise you to try again next time - it can add to your stress load if you feel that you're forced to get wet/hard.

- If your partner is stressed, do not hold back! Maybe your love even needs "a little trip", who knows... ;)

- Never forget that you have a right to fulfill your sexual needs together with your love, and vice versa. Making compromises on both sides can be vital when dealing with a long period of depression.

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